I think we’ve all probably told a little white lie or two in our time. Sometimes it’s for the best, sometimes it’s not worth it.
And it can be so easy to just go with the flow of conversation, then find ourselves stuck in the middle of a web made out of our own lies.
And sometimes, it all works out ok… other times, not so much!
So my advice would be to not try these at home…
How does this happen?
Told my employer that I was Jewish. Not Jewish. Had to research all the holidays, pick a temple to be a member of, etc.
Had to get a new job.
Boy who cried wolf…
I once told people I had been bitten by a venomous snake to get out of work for a few days….I had already called in sick a ton of times and just could not face them if I did it again.
I am young and in good health, there is just no way even an old frail person is ill as much as I am calling in…. so yes snake bite.
They knew I kept venomous snakes and I thought “this is a great idea.”
Turns out they were fascinated and wanted to see so I had to wrap my foot up in a huge bandage and hobble around for weeks…. luckily I was moving to another job I actually didn’t hate a few weeks after that.
I didn’t have to deform my own foot or actually let one of my venomous bite me so that I would not get busted…I was not far off doing so!!
Lied about being married
At, work, for whatever reason, when I first started I told a girl that I was married…I was never married…It got so out of hand that I actually bought a fake wedding ring….
The whole hospital thinks I’m a husband…I’ve had friends call in pretending they’re my wife….It’s so crazy out of hand now that I think I would be fired if the truth came out.
Teamwork is the best
I have on my resume that I won an award my company gave out.
Which is true…I did win the award…but only because I was on a project team that I was added to about halfway through the project & my part was super minimal.
Got a massive bonus for it, though.
Must have been bad…
We had a candidate send a text with a photo of his car after he had an “accident” which is why he didn’t show up to the interview.
He had mentioned in a previous phone conversation that he drove a truck… picture was a BMW.
Also, the photo he sent was the first result when you search Google for wrecked BMW.
The final kicker? The photo was taken in INDIA.
We emailed back with the visual of the search results and he never responded again.
I was looking for a job and I didn’t want to be a fast food manager anymore so I fluffed out my resume with computer skills I didn’t have.
I was contacted by a recruiter who asked me some questions to gauge my abilities and I straight googled the answers as he was asking them.
When I went to the interview, the boss had all of these circuit boards sitting all over his desk. I recognized them as Raspberry pis from Reddit. So I asked what he was using them for.
The rest of the interview was just this guy bragging about all of these projects he had going on. He might as well have been speaking Greek. I just feigned interest and said wow a lot.
Who knows how this happened but I have literally googled every problem I have been given. Day 543, they still think I know what I’m doing. I’m making 1.5 times what I was making as a manager.
This is one that doesn’t bother me.
I had a coworker with memory issues or dementia and he called me Kevin once in awhile, not my name obviously. It made me laugh and one of my coworkers started calling me Kevin and telling new employees that’s my name. This was 3 years ago and it is still going.
At the same time I told my son who thought it was hilarious, and somehow it morphed into me calling him Kevin, and my cat too. So I would yell downstairs, “Kevin, is Kevin down there?”.
My son told his best friend, and they started calling each other Kevin. Now when I see my son’s friend I call him Kevin.
For this story to come full circle, my son and said friend came to my office and I introduced them as my son Kevin and his friend Kevin.
Also my sister now calls my son Kevin.
Copywriter, designer, same difference.
“You’re here for the copywriting position right?”
I was the only one in the waiting area… thought I was there for a design/art direction role. Within 15 minutes of the interview they offered me $2K to move and $45K starting salary a week before graduation.
Work from home? Sounds great!
I was having a rough time commuting too far for work for a few months.
Decided to quit to find something closer to home, but told everyone I had been approved to work from home.
When I went to give my two weeks, my manager asked, “I know the driving has been killing you, how would you feel about working from home?”
Work laptop to my left and watching Great British Masterclass as I type, been working at home since then.
Have you ever told any lies that have gotten out of control?
We’d love to hear your stories, either comment below or start a conversation with us on Twitter!
And whilst some of these have worked out pretty well, it’s definitely for the best to stick to the truth.
Feel free to check out the rest of our Friday Funnies for the rest of our lighthearted content.
Originally published at www.coburgbanks.co.uk on August 15, 2018.